This word GRATITUDE has been showing up a lot for me lately. I didn't quite understand at first...I mean I know what it means but I figured it was just because of the holidays but beyond just being the word and posts about it I am experiencing it. Now, I'm not trying to sound like an asshole who has never experienced gratitude but let's just say it wasn't something I really practiced on a regular basis. That however has started changing recently.

Now that I have been out of my depression episode for a couple weeks I am much more conscious of what I'm thankful for. I have been much more mindful of my gratitude and trying to be more aware of the things that make me feel that way. I am not perfect and there are days that I don't feel it at all. Those are usually days that I am having a depressive episode. Living with depression never fully goes away but I'm learning more and more to not let it control me.

grat·i·tude: ˈɡradəˌt(y)o͞od/noun: gratitude: the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

Today was an exceptional day for me and feeling gratitude for my life. If you know me you know I have a lot going on and I am making changes that means I have less time for "me" and I'm ok with that. A week or so ago I would have been freaking out a little at the thought of taking my son out of his two days a week in daycare to be home full time. This weekend though my husband and I have been taking about it and it just makes sense for where we are in life right now. 

This has a big impact to our life because I won't have as much free time to focus on my business but I know so many moms that make it work that I know I can too! Even better I woke up this morning feeling so good about the decision. I felt so grateful that I will have this opportunity to be home with my son and watch his little personality to continue to develop. It will be an adjustment and i don't expect it to be easy but I know that it is best for our family right now. I also know I can still be successful in my business and will do whatever I have to to make my dreams reality. 

I know it doesn't come easy for all of us and I'm the first to admit it for myself but if you can, take a moment today to reflect on what you have to be thankful for. Practice gratitude and see how your mood changes. It is worth it and something I plan to work at everyday because it feels amazing.